Dixie's **2.75/5 stars

Thanks to the Strip Club being closed for a private party, I had to revert to Plan B for my final brunch of 2013. Aggg... the dreaded lunch buffet. It's never been my favorite, for several reasons...

Number 1: Cooked eggs do not age well. Scrambled is the only form that really likes to hang out in a warming pan and scrambled eggs are the vanilla ice cream of brunch.

Number 2: Catered meals remind me of my college dining service where the cereal was the only safe thing. And then when the flood victims moved in from the red river valley in the spring of 1997, they gave them all of the good sugary cereal. My Fruit Loops addiction was over.

Number 3: It's just too much damn food. Nobody, seriously nobody, needs to eat eggs, grits, fried chicken, bacon, sausage, cinnamon rolls, fruit plate and wash it down with a freaking chocolate fondue fountain before noon on a Sunday. I'm not even supposed to be out of bed before noon on a Sunday. But you advertise a Champagne brunch and somehow I just can't control myself.

So Dixie's (like Dixie Land, yeah you get the picture) is in the affluent intersection of Dale and Grand in St. Paul. This is the second time in two weeks that I've been to this distant sister city. I must be getting old... 

It's a large wood-paneled interior with dim lighting. I called for a reservation, but they lost it, so we got seated way back in the dark and depressing party room. They kept saying how lucky we were to be back there, with our own tv to watch the game. I don't care about football; where's my mimosa?

My lovely brunch crew. I adjusted the exposure in iPhoto.

Our server immediately offered the bottomless mimosa, of which we all partook. And she was good about refills. Coffee and other beverages are free as well, all for a mere $24. Bloody bar is only $3.50 per.

They do eggs benedict and omelettes to order. Smart, I thought, cuz they're way better fresh, but they took forever. Looks alright, but the hollandaise was a disaster.

Yeah, so there's all that stuff I mentioned earlier, eggs, potatoes, grits, breakfast meat, chicken, jumbalya, salad, fruit, rolls... But no waffles or cakes. Odd. I was contemplating a choice when Bridget reminded me, "It's a buffet, take it. If you don't want it, just ditch it and load up another plate. #4 thing I dislike about buffets. The wastefulness. Word is the fried chicken, cheesy grits and biscuits were the most tasty. I enjoyed the salad as well.

That's honey butter. Yow!

Fruit, bitch.

There's is a pile of mediocre desserts surrounding the fondue fountain. Looks pretty, though!

 The best thing was actually the rice krispy treats. 

So this place was way better than Al Vento, but still comes up as barely acceptable by my team of experts. I'm officially done with brunch buffets. New year's resolution. But if you drink 8 mimomsas, you've made it worth your while!

Happy brunching to all from Bad Eggs!