The Hen House **2.5/5 stars

Downtown. It's hard to park. Downtown. It's a clusterfu*k. Downtown. Why do I ever gooooooo..... Downtown?

Cuz I heard about this place that's organic and local and has a full bar. And I'm a sucker for new places. And I'm a sucker for brunch.

Nice...rooster...

Free samples.

Wait a minute!!!

Nobody told me this was a glorified Perkins?!

But wait...they have booze. Okay, let's do this.

Truth: this place was jammin' busy. Truth: this place is huge. We got seated in the way back amongst a row of empty booths. It's like they knew we were going to be trouble...

She's planning to sabotage someone or something.

Consolation for a broken futon.

So we sat in our VIP booth and ordered up some bottomless things. The OJ here is majorly fresh squeezed. Like, majorly. Awesome.

All day, son.

An then we got some food... So this is a pretty standard omelette with toast.

Some shitty juevos and some hashbrowns that were promising until we realized they were heavily bathed in Lawry's Seasoned Salt. When you say Lawry's, you have to say it with a long drawl like Laaaa-reeeeeee's and then talk about how you put it on everything, even your oatmeal.

And the chicken and waffles was by far the biggest disappointment of the day. Especially since Lilah dragged her hungover ass all the way down here for some life revival. And what she got was a chicken strip with some dry cabbage on an Ego. Frown face.

The one saving grace, and it always is, was the fresh OJ and vodka, and the tiny baby mimosa that our server empathetically gifted me because she didn't want me to have to watch empty-handed while Nick and Lil finished their 4th beverage to my 3rd. What a peach!

The view from the back window is the Mpls Club building. Rich, fancy people hang out there. You're reading Bad Eggs, so you wouldn't understand that lifestyle. But what you do understand is dammmnnn, that Laaaaa-reeeeee taste good.

That .5 was for the sympathy mimosa. Outstanding.

Bye now.