St. Paul (that strange city to the east of us) always seems a million miles away. An unblemished land of theaters, museums, old brick and old money that becomes a creepy ghost town after 10pm. Every time we venture that way, we feel like we should be packing an overnight bag and putting our mail on hold. But, what better reason to escape your comfort zone than the quest for great brunch? I really shouldn't complain about the distance. Our friends Jeneé and Greg voyaged across state lines from Baldwin, Wisconsin to join us.
Colossal Cafe has two locations. Ironically, both are small, but the Como spot is less tiny. We opted for a little more elbow room so as not to feel like we were trapped in a canyon crevice with James Franco.
You order your food first and then sit, which is a little awkward when it's super busy, but we managed to find four bar spots on a gorgeous granite slab facing the kitchen.
The appetizer, a colossal cinnamon roll, was the perfect size to share between four people. Yum.
Jeneé and I opted for a classic bacon, egg and hashbrown plate. Greg got a stack of their pancakes made with a yeast-based batter and I got a side as well. Everything was cooked perfectly, but we didn't care for the texture of the pancakes, which was pretty thick and dense.
Do you see that toast? That's the best toast I've ever had. Ever.
The bacon was hiding under the toast.
Bran got this beautiful sausage omelette.
Satisfied customers! The coffee and conversation was so good we stayed for three more cups...
The only reason I go to North Mpls is to buy fully-automatic weapons and/or crack cocaine... Kidding, kidding. I no longer will perpetuate the idea that North is a scary ghetto. Well, parts of it are, but Victory Memorial Parkway has to be one of the most gorgeous areas in the city, even coated in the colorless blanket of early spring (dare I utter the word, spring). Luckily my good friends who live in this lovely "up and coming" part of town coaxed me into a 20-minute drive this morning that I would not regret. This is going to be a long one...you might want to grab a drink...
So here's Victory 44. What a lovely building! Right across the street from Dominos pizzaria...you may have heard of them...
And here's inside. That's Joey, Kelly, Molly, Josh and Brandon...the early crew. I called a half hour ahead and they were able to ready a table for eight, no problem. Jen and Nick arrived fashionably late...
Notice the pig photos everywhere. This is the only thing that creeps me out about this place. I don't want a live pig staring at me whilst I dine on pork sausage and bacon. Kinda ironic, huh? "It's like freeeee baaaacon when you already ate, it's a deeahd pig on your breakfast plaaaate..." Too much? Moving on...
Ok, first things first. They have beer and wine only, so we ordered mimosas. They consisted mostly of prosecco, just how we like them. So far so good...
Oh, god, the coffee!!! They pour your espresso drinks tableside, and they use Dogwood coffee...who supposedly roasts coffee where unicorns dance...so delish. B got a french press and they brought a timer to remind him to press it. Seriously??!!
Atmosphere is bright and comfy and roomy. The music selection featured Ben Harper, Bob Dylan, Ray LaMontagne and the likes... perfect for a mellow Sunday morning. That dude in the cowboy hat is sweet!
Now I'm gonna let you in on a brunch-time ritual that we often enjoy. Everyone writes a random fortune on a slip of paper and throws it into the middle. Then, we all draw one to help guide us on our life journey. They're usually very profound...well ok, not always, actually mostly they're really dumb, but if you want to find one for yourself, visit this awesome site that our friend DP created from them: Super-magic Teller of Wondrous Fortunes. Note: fortunes may contain foul language and sexually explicit material that may be disturbing to some readers. Sorry, mom.
Okay, it's time to talk food. Victory completely nailed it. We had a variety of dishes on our table ranging from eggs to waffles to burgers... yes, burgers qualify for brunch, especially when they come cooked exactly to your specification and embellished with homemade pickles...
The benny. Yow! Runny yolks! Lemony hollandaise! Homemade tots! I die.
Biscuits and gravy...gorge.
Croque Madame (a grilled ham and cheese with a sunny egg)...and those fries were made with bacon grease...are you dying yet?
Banana nut waffles...mmmmmmm...
Our dishes were dropped almost simultaneously by several servers/chefs (yes, the servers are all chefs) just as you would expect in fine dining and the service as a whole was outstanding. Most dishes were $8; for what you get, this is a steal.
People, Victory 44 does dinner just as well so don't hesitate to hit them up any time of day. They have a great beer/wine bar area and an adjoining coffee bar.
Victory = winner, winner, winner. I might consider buying a large guard dog and some pepper spray and moving North...
I was lucky enough to be joined by some very discerning brunchers today...B, Nick, Al, DP and Petts. We chose the Loring Kitchen, having heard great tales of a "bottomless mimosa."
During the few precious Minnesota summer months, the Loring Kitchen opens its wall of glass doors facing Loring Park. It's been a gorgeous winter, but not warm enough for open air, however the room was still warm and bright and freakin' busy! Monopolized by well-dressed, well-groomed men, it's no wonder Lavender Mag is a big fan. We were seated after a brief wait and immediately ordered up a round of mimosas. It's true, they are beautiful and bottomless. For $10 you get a nice large pour in a nice tall wine glass...and they keep it coming. The menu is pretty basic. Scrambles, eggs your way, pancakes and typical sides. I was excited to see if they would pass my Benny test!
Well, luckily we had good company, because the food took a long time to arrive. Champagne on an empty stomach is not the best idea, but it fueled interesting conversation about breast exams, colonoscopies, bad french kisses and Whitney's death.
Finally, food! Well, the benny passed my test. Eggs were perfect, but the presentation was sub par. The potatoes came out of a bag, for sure. Look, I got one onion and two red peppers! That hollandaise was not made with enough love! Oh, and they forgot my pancake.
But, our mimosas are still magically full...
Nicki was distressed to find that her corn beef hash was missing the potatoes that the menu claimed were included. Our server got defensive and said that they were "cut up really tiny in there." Wha? She totally copped a 'tude, but finally agreed to bring N a side of potatoes. I mean, seriously, gross. I would never order corned beef, but at least try to make it appetizing if you're gonna put it on your menu! Looks like raw ground beef under there...
Sausage scramble...
Everyone else enjoyed their pancakes and scrambles, but weren't blown away, and I think the prices are way high for the quality. But dang, if your boyfriend just left you for another man and you want to start your Sunday by drowning your sorrows in a fruity boozy pitcher of bubbles, while scoping out new dudes, then the Loring Kitchen might be a good choice. Or you could just stay home and watch "The Bodyguard", drink box wine and blog about how good Whitney used to look and then ponder the attractiveness of Kevin Costner...I'm on the fence with that one...
