Mickey's Diner **2.5/5 stars

Oh, don't look at me like that. I know you think Mickey's deserves more stars. But it's already had its share inside these crusty, narrow walls... Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilo Estavez, Garrison Keillor and the great Lindsay Lohan...speaking of crusty...

This is your typical dining car setup. And they've been serving breakfast 24/7 for over 70 years. It shows. The servers have been there almost as long. They're over it. Like, wayyyyy over it.

The table-side juke boxes don't function, but the song collection is pretty killer.

Menu is what you'd expect. Omelettes, meats and potatoes. Cakes. Burgers. Malts. Hypertension.

Our server tossed this plate at me. Denver with hashbrowns. The browns here are actually pretty rad. Super chunky and crunchy.

A well-balanced breakfast. Good cakes, yep.

They will gladly serve those who behave. Those who don't they most likely won't. You take your chances when you roll in all buzzed up on Mike's Hards after a Nickleback concert at the Excel. Just sayin...

Eli's East ***3.5/5 stars

Juli, Kel and Nick joined me on the northeast side of town this fine afternoon for late brunch, or as Kelly likes to call it, alcoholism with a side of toast. If Eli's second location is half as cool as the first, we're in for a treat.

The layout here is pretty great. Comfy booths, warm wood and good lighting. 

Unlike the south side, the bar has craft taps, wine and all the liquor your little drunken heart desires. The menu here is pretty fun. Chipotle Cheesesteak Omelet, Brunch penne (mac and cheese with bacon and egg), Turducken Benny (turkey sausage and duck confit hashbrowns...what??!!) Beef Stroganoff Omelet...Huh??!!

Drinks first. Mimosas, screw ups and coffee with baileys...no espresso here. Baaaaw.

 

They have a tomatillo bloody I was wanting to try, but I accidentally ordered the house. Fine choice.

The lovely pastrami hash...if you think pastrami is lovely.

The spinach salad. #hbusa It was a bit over-dressed, and I wish it had fresh mozz instead of smoked.

One of the two things Nick orders regularly. A breakfast sammy. Featuring gouda, tomato, applewood smoked bacon. Rarrrr....

The atmosphere was good, the service was good, the company was good. Two thumbs up for Eli's East!
 
NOTE: the women's restroom door needs to be messed with in order to get it to lock. Juli learned this after she busted in on some dude with his pants down. Why he was in the women's room, we can only assume... 

Now if you're not finished yet, and you know we're not, head over to Legend's across the street to drink away the afternoon...

Cheers from Bad Eggs.

Union **2.5/5 stars

So if you want a club-style breakfast, and honey you KNOW I do, roll on down to Union on a Sunday for their Champagne Brunch. We got the cheapy  2-for-40 living social coupon, but if you high roll, you can get bottle service: $65 Veuve Clicquot & $75 Grey Goose. I mean WOW, what a great deal! Let me just put that on my black AmEx.

The Union rooftop is actually rather charming on a cold winter's day. We navigated the empty downstairs dinging room and climbed the 3 flights of stairs to sunshine fun time. The first thing you notice is the thumping bass from the club-quality sound system. Amazingly, I have no headache this morning. I can get down with this.

Our server suggested that the champagne was "cheap" so we'd better pair it with some orange juice. Ha. We did and it was a great accompaniment to our fresh peach scones. YOW! I could have eaten a baker's dozen. Note: they also have a $10 bloody that comes with a burger on the skewer. No messin' around so far!

Since we had a groupon, we were instructed to order the most expensive thing on the menu, so Bridget and I went with the $25 lobster benny. Nicki, always adventurous, got the eggs, potatoes and bacon. 

We were chair dancing and checking out the eye candy while waiting for our food. I forget that this part of downtown is usually full of beautiful, well-groomed men. Men who mostly dig other men. Sad for all of us single straight girls, but I appreciate anyone who knows how to use product and pop a collar.

The food came. It was beautiful, but to be honest, not amazing. This whole dish was cold and the lobster was a bit tough. However, the salad was lovely.

Nicki's food was great. The potatoes were mui bueno. I'm still hungry; I want more scones.

I could see how the retractable roof could be even more enticing in the summer months, but Union is probably not worth the price you pay to park downtown and drink a $40 bottle of $5 champagne. But if continuing the party is your intention, Union is the best after after party in town. Ciao, bitches.