Legends Bar and Grill and Beach Oasis ***2.5/5 stars

Are you in the mood for a typical bar breakfast in a semi-sketchy part of town with college-age servers that look hung over as hell? Then Legends can be all that and more. The first thing you notice when you walk in the door is their serious happy hour menu filled with kami's and jag bombs, built to attract young, foolish people without real life direction. I'm having flashbacks...and I like it. I went here on word that their bloodies were beuno and the food was totally dece. And it's true...

So they have a patio...that's a bonus...especially on this gorgeous, sunny, Saturday morning. It's really a cement parking lot with plastic tables and chairs and a fake palm tree.

Not totally void of character...check out this piece of work. Really adds to the ambiance...

Ok - so here's the menu. Pretty much as basic as it gets with omelets, benny, pancakes and classic egg combos. Nothing different. But we didn't want different. We wanted classic. And we got it.

So here's the bloody, buddy. Crammed with meat and pickled stuff and a shrimp that wasn't as scary as you might think. I ate two and lived to tell about it. The mix is a little on the sweet side, though.

Classic eggs. I hate those deep fried American fries. I would have preferred hashbrowns, but they don't have them or any other breakfast potato option for that matter... major fail.

Here's the same only scrambled with ham and toast. Pretty nice presentation and nothing was as greasy as you'd expect.

Omelet.

One final note: they bring you a water as big as your head without asking. As if they know most of their clientele is going to be extremely dehydrated in the morning. This is a big deal. A lot of places now days won't bring you water unless you ask, and then they keep forgetting you asked for it. Thank you, Legends for being so greatly average and keeping the world hydrated!

Madison, WI **** 4/5 stars

We went to Madison this weekend so I could participate in the Mad-town Maidens alleycat race with my friend, Lisa. She and her husband, Darren, were kind enough to put us up for the night and clue us in on some great eats. After biking 25 miles the previous day, I was ready to shove a serious amount of food in my face. We planned to bike to brunch but we woke up to this:

So we parked downtown and ran through a downpour for a couple blocks until we ducked into The Old Fashioned. At first glance, it appears to be a dark, divey tavern, but then you realize it's actually a clean, classy and cozy establishment with a great brunch menu. Still, the giant fish in a glass case and just the slightest smell of must and stale beer makes you think you might be at some old northwoods bar and grill.

I think this is the earliest I've ever had bloody mary's (before 10am), but this place made me feel right at home.

The "old-fashioned" bloody was chock full of horse radish to my delight. This was the best bloody I've had in a long time! We were only here to escape the rain and have one drink, and I'll admit I was a bit sad that we didn't stay for food. They had some great egg dishes made with Wisconsin cheeses and even a basket of fried fresh morels. Our server came out at one point to offer us a bucket of mystery beers. What time is it again? We were assured, had the weather gotten any worse, that the basement would be a safe harbor with lots of booze and food in stock. I almost wished the storm of the century would have me trapped inside the Old Fashioned for a couple of days at least... but we had more brunching to do elsewhere...

We jogged a couple blocks to the Marigold, Lisa's favorite brunch spot. After examining the menu, I could tell I was going to love it. Salads come with just about everything. They have sweet and savory items and the prices are cheap compared to MPLS. Oh, they also have bloodies, mimosas, espresso, etc... I'm considering the move to Madison. Seriously...

This is a buy-at-the-counter and then sit down kind of place. They had lots of craveable baked goods behind the glass. Chalkboard menus mean your ingredients are fresh daily.

The dining room is bright and cheery.

We all got scrambles or frittatas and I added a blueberry pancake. Morels were on the menu again. My scramble had brie and crimini mushrooms...so good!

The frittata...

And the pancake with granola on the side...it kinda worked.

Cappuccino froth overload! So good.

I'm exploding with delight. I don't want brunch to end. Where could we go next?

I'm not confirming or denying a trip to "Smut 'n Eggs" at Bennet's Meadow Country Club. I'd heard about this place for years...yep, they serve eggs and show pornographic videos. Rest assured, though, they do close on mother's day every year.

To quote Brandon: "That guy has no testicles!" Now that's something you don't hear at Sunday brunch very often... Oh, Madison, how I love your cultural diversity.

Tilia ***3/5 stars

For some reason, I'll wager good taste, we often run into chef Steven Brown at brunch. Today it was inevitable, as we went to his lovely little spot in Linden Hills. And you know it's good, cuz the chefs from Travail are sitting in the front booth...

Tilia has a creative brunch menu. On the more "normal" side of things, you will find an omelet and hashbrowns, but they'll be embellished with fine, fresh ingredients that you won't find at traditional diners. At least I don't think I've ever seen a sweet ramp and neufchatel omelet at Denny's.

The dish that gets me every time is the cornbread waffle benedict with lobster. They ran out of lobster today, so I got shrimp instead. Still nailed it.

Oh, AND they make a yogurt in the style of creme brule. Gorgeous.

We shared a couple of these banana muffins with cream cheese frosting. They were not nearly as good as the banana muffins at Heidi's. Sorry. But we ended up getting an extra when our server flipped the remains of one onto the table, frosting side down. Top notch service.

Tilia isn't a large space, but it's nice and bright. Don't expect a quiet, romantic meal, though. The walls magnify sound in every direction.

These guys at the bar look like they've been there since the night before... Their shirts are very Miami Vice. I'd expect better from the Linden Hills crowd.

If you consider yourself a man about town you probably should get a few meals under your belt here so you can talk about them with your fancy friends. Don't expect to pick up a date, though...well, unless you need a new baby mamma or a cougar mauling. The crowd consists of more families and kids than I would expect for this kind of upscale restaurant, but I guess that comes with the neighborhood.

Stay Classy.