Spill the Wine ***2.5/5 stars

This is the rear entrance of Spill the Wine. I came at it from this direction, so this is what you get. Another rare, warm November Sunday, too lazy to pump anything, I mounted my semi-flat-tired bike and hard pedaled my way up to Bryant and Lake to meet some work friends. (Don't worry, they're cool.)

This be the inside. I'm into it. Ample space filled with metal and wood and sweet, hazy mid-day light. Where are all the people? I guess it was 10 a.m. Church and/or drunken sleep wasn't over yet... But we were there, ready to get down into one...or four of these magical freaking mason jars. Any possibility of a productive day just went off the rails.

Good, SPICY bloody (with vodka).

Strawberry Basil Mimosa? Yessssssss.

Pear Ginger Mimosa? Okay fineeeee.

Picture a spiraling hypnotic wave. I'm re-naming this place: Drink All the Wine. Seriously, those mimosas are bottomless and there are four different flavors to choose from (Not pictured: coconut pecan and blood orange.) And they're real nice, Clark.

Time to sober up with some fancy ass coffee.

Alright, let's get to the menu. We've got classics and fritattas and scrambles and some other unordinary stuff I'll get to in a sec. Nobody went for the sugar, but I am dying to know how their lemon ricotta pancakes compare to Hell's Kitchen. Note: I haven't reviewed Hell's Kitchen yet because every time I tell someone I have a MPLS brunch blog they ask me if I've been there, like it's some great hidden secret. No disrespect, Hell's, but you've kinda become a brunch commodity. Then I'd have to review Perkin's or Denny's. OMG. Note to self: review Perkins or Denny's.

Thaz the burrito with chili braised pork. Es bueno. But ya know, friends, I just really dislike fried potato squares. They're usually dry and flavorless like chewing little cardboard boxes. These were better than the standard food service delivery, but not amazing.

Here's the veggie scramble with more damned potato cubes.

Pork belly & kimchi fried rice, scallion, chili hollandaise. Whoa.

Kale Benedict. I don't know. I expected it to be something. It was nothing special. At all. AND my poached eggs were hard. Blasphemy! Guess it's time for another drink...

Shiny, happy people.

This is the youthful glow that only an a.m. champagne binge can produce. Spill the Wine. Go here to drink. And maybe eat something. Peace.

Libertine **2.5/5 stars

Libertine. A person, especially a man, who behaves without moral principles or a sense of responsibility, especially in sexual matters. Okay... That's the first online definition that pops up. The second is: Freethinking in matters of religion. Well, brunch is my religion. And that includes the freedom to eat and drink whatever I want before noon.

 

When you brunch the day after Halloween and the day after fully departing from a month-long detox, you get a little cray-say. Accompanied by Joe Dirt, Taylor Swift, and tranny Davey Crocket, we sashayed into Libertine prepared to have an "experience".

The interior has gotten a face lift, for sure. It's trendy, arty, upscale. Good color and texture. No more lunch lady homage. We were seated at a hard, wooden table with hard, wooden benches. Chic.

They were afraid they wouldn't find each other.

The menu has some great sounding stuff. We started with beverages, of course. For 8 whole dollars you can get more than a "regular" mimosa. I really like regular mimosas. Most of the time I prefer them. But the Star Child, for example, which has negroni and cava and lemon foam, is pretty fun. If you like the bitters, you'll like it.

Mork suspenders.

Or the Tiny Bubbles has sparkling white rum, guava and pineapple. Super fresh. Rum, it's not just for p.m. college binging anymore! It's for middle-aged day drinking! Sigh...

The basic "all you can drink for $14" bloodies are...okay. Kinda watery. But then it's easier to drink more of them. Bonus. Our waiter informed us (apparently we looked like trouble) that the "cut-off" for the bottomless bloodies is 3pm. Now you know.

Let's get on to the food. Weird menu design. I like.

We got the lemon blueberry crepes Brunchitizer™. They were light and tart. But as far as I'm concerned, a crepe without Nutella and bananas barely exists. They're kinda transparent. Forgettable. If you're transparent, you'll love them. Obvi.

So pretty, so vain.

The biscuits and gravy were doughy. But Frenchy John likes them that way. Must be a french thing...

A gorgeous pile of scrambled eggs. These were incredible. Edible. Eggs.

I ordered a side of potatoes which were roasted and topped with creme fraiche. (I spelled that right the first time. Cha-ching.) A different kind of breakfast potato option. Greasy but good. You put anything in a skillet and I'm convinced it's been campfire cooked by some weathered but experienced, ruggedly handsome urban cowboy. How romantic.

Lamb and brie lucy. With fat finger potatoes. The potatoes here are cray-say.

We were told the fried chicken and jalapeno waffles were great here. I honestly have nothing to compare them to, but if this is what "great" C&W taste like, I'm sad. Kinda lacking in flavor all-together. You don't want hot peppers in your waffles. You just don't.

Confession: I didn't really like Libertine all that much. Seems they didn't sage this space enough. You can take the plastic plates off the wall, but the ghosts of Cafeteria's past are pulling a hair net over Libertine's style. They can still soft scramble my eggs any day.
Namaste.

The cast from "My So Called Brunch"

The Buttered Tin ****4.5/5 stars

This Minnesota fall just keeps rocking our faces off with gorgeous weather. Because of this rare gift from Mother Nature, we were able to saddle up and do a ride to Lowertown St. Paul. Yes, St. Paul. It's what the cool kids are doing these days.

What cool people look like...

We were headed for The Buttered Tin off of Wacouta and 7th, near the lovely Mears park. Our route was a solid 5 miles of greenway followed by a solid 7 miles of sprawling estates with perfectly manicured lawns and topiaries. Mr. Fox quickly rebutted Sarah's exclamation "It smells like fall!" with "No, that's the smell of old money."

We pit stopped at Sweeny's lovely back patio for beverages...

Then Summit spit us out at the feet of our very own state capitol building (whose facade was under heavy construction.)

Petts loves democracy.

The Tin (I can call it that cuz we're buddies now) is a cute corner spot across from what I can only assume is one of the best dive bars in the neighborhood. Shame it wasn't open.

Gophers and Liquor and Coney Island - What more could you ask for?

The info.

Inside is a sunny, sweet-smelling space. Baked goods beckon from every direction. It's busy. We're about to find out why this place is so popular.

Homemade cornbread twinkies. Yup.

The menu, posted above the kitchen and in hand-held form, boasts a really great variety of brunchy designs. Bennies, hashbrowns, pancakes, french toast, soups, salads and sandwiches. They do coffee, beer and wine as well. I opted for the fresh squeezed orange juice, which was chewy and delicious. All you pulp haters can shush your mouths.

Mimosaville

Somehow it took us three hours to get to this table. St.Paul is very far away, so most of us were ravenous. We pounded down some cookies and nutella-filled pastries... AND, la piece de resistance, the Bananas Foster French Toast. F my life.

Brunchitizer™ Award of the Year

Suprisingly, no one got stabbed.

On to the main courses. We weren't extremely diverse here, but we got some variety. One of the most popular orders was the Huevos Rancheros Benedict, two of my most favorite things in the whole world. With corn cakes and avocado, this was pretty damn tasty...

But not even as tasty as the TBT Hash with sausage and seasonal veggies. Look at that effing adorable little skillet and that perfect goddamn egg. The flavor in this sucker was unreal.

Here's the Crab Cake Benedict, which Brandon now says is the best in town. I wonder if he meant St. Paul or MPLS? I'll assume both.

These are the loaded hashbrowns with a poached egg. There's meat and cheese up in there...

Annnnd....a tuna melt. Because it's brunch. And you can do that.

Satisfied customers.

Ok Cupid 68% match?

And in true Bad Eggs fashion, we closed the place down. Happily stuffed with almost five-star food, we rolled our distended bellies over to Mears park for a piece of sun.

Because we love public transportation, and the Union Depot was only a few blocks away, we decided to take the new Green Line back to MPLS. We got harrassed by some Detroit Lions fans, but other than that it was the perfect day.

Peace out.