Grumpy's Downtown ***2.5/5 stars

I was not particularly excited for brunch this morning. I had expected the bar would smell like bleach and that stank of sour beer that you just can't wash out of a place with so much history. I was afraid that the smell might interfere with my ability to swallow some greasy, deep-fried bar breakfast. Hey, I'm not knocking dive bar breakfast, but you definitely have to be in the mood for it. I wasn't. But my friend Matt was waiting for me to review his favorite neighborhood haunt. And I am a man of my word.

We enter through the back, and before I know what's happened, I've been wrapped in a dark, warm, blanket surrounded by neon signs and a shrine of liquor bottles. No olfactory offense. All my reservations fade away. I am home.

First things first. Bloody marys. Patty makes the bomb bloody mary. Spicy, salty, sour...save your life kind of stuff. He uses brine from his very own pickled bean recipe. NOTE - They don't serve these at NE Grumpy's. Downtown only.

 

This menu is really not f-ing around. Hungry, burly men (and women) come here to get down. Specifically to get down six pancakes, six sausages and 6oz. of maple syrup if you order the #666. I modified it to a #333. The menu is otherwise pretty heavily influenced by the southwest and mexico. Breakfast Nachos being one of the items that gave me a good chuckle, as well as the Breakfast Skins - yup it's potato skins with eggs in them. Come on, this is soooo what I expected from this place!

Professionally lit by DP's Flashlight Ap

I feel like I've let down the proud women that came before me and conqured this full meal. But it's damn tasty. The pancakes were a little under-done in spots, but who the hell cares? Not me. I've moved on to the champagne of beers and orange juice. Ladies and gentle men: the beermosa.

The Chilango, which we lovingly refer to as Chilango Unchained, is chorizo, eggs, peppers and all that jazz. "Straight out of Mexico City. Kind of." You can get it veggie style with some really great faux sausage. Grumpy actually accommodates meatless meals. Impressive.

This gut bomb is the Carnivore's burrito. "Stuffed with meat, meat and more meat, tots, eggs and cheese. We'll even put some grapes on the plate." 
Well, shit!

Professionally lit by Matt Sharma's Flashlight Ap

And, of course, the Breakfast Quesadilla. A denver omelett served in a tortilla. So brill.

I can't believe it. I never thought in a million years that this grungy, mpls downtown staple with no more than adequate bar food could win my brunch love. Thanks to Patty the bartender, Al, DP, and B for providing sweet company. And thanks, especially, to "Metal" Matt Sharma for proving that Grumpy's is my happy place.