The Red Stag ***3/5 stars

Okay, so this whole MN vs. WI thing needs to die. We are pretty much the same when you boil it down. Lakes, trees, beer, passive aggressiveness, Christian guilt... and don't forget that great work ethic! But there's one feature of Wisconsin that I will give extra credit... aside from that tasty, tasty New Glarus brew. Supper clubs. So yeah, MN has them, but they're just too damn modest. WI clubs have flair. They let their freaky, backwoods, old-fashioned-drinking, animal-slaying, antique-hoarding selves run wild. The Red Stag in NE MPLS is an homage to such places.

Ironically, the Stag is an upscale joint. The food and beverages aren't of your average supper club variety or price. And you'll probably not find a brunch like this in Kenosha. Well maybe, but it'll be way more greasy (I mean, don't get me wrong, greasy has its charm).

The menu plays the classics... scrambles, hashes, bennies, cakes, etc... They use local and organic ingredients, and Wisconsin Cheese, of course.

We got this complimentary coffee cake Brunchitizer™.

Look at this sexy Campari and grapefruit. And while we're on the subject of breakfast cocktails, I have some sad news. The bloodies here are terrible. Which is strange because Pat's Tap and Bryant Lake Bowl (the Stag's sister restaurants) have some great ones. Bring those recipes up here, y'all! This one is funky. I don't like to suck peppercorns and other chunky seasoning up my straw.

Above is a greyhound and the granola with yogurt and fruit... the granola was under there somewhere. Below is the veggie hash. Pretty.

Here's the florentine. Ung. Them hasbrowns is real crispy.

And the corned beef hash with two scrambled...

Also, they bring you a vat of fresh jam for your toast.

While not a truly authentic Wisco supper club experience, I have to say the Stag does a pretty nice job of re-creating the general feeling without the extra must, dust and social conservancy. It's a bit on the pricey side for my likes, but it's pretty worth it. HELLO WISCONSIN!

Kitschy.

The Stag beckons.

Heyday **2/5 stars

Haaayyyyy. It's Sunday morning. Your friends called and they're on their way back from the Apple River, looking to continue the debauchery. Where to go?

Heyday is new to town and quite new to the brunch scene. I'd been hearing good things.

At first glance, this place is freaking gorgeous. Open and spacious, recycled wood and great art... Falling in love.

First glance at the menu reveals a succinct breakfast entree selection and a brief but mui interesting beverage menu. Pannekoken, biscuits and gravy, quiche, rancheros, croque, traditional, breakfast sandwich, bagel and lox, yogurt. That's it. But what a nice variety for a limited menu. I guess I should not forget to mention the side of praline bacon, which we did not order, but I heard it is a dream.

So we picked the most boozy sounding drink on the menu, the "Don't Be Salty", which consists of tequila, orange, salt, strawberry and bubbly... Yow. So good. They should serve it in a punch bowl with straws.

Free Brunchetizer™!

We sat by the kitchen and watched the magic happen while we conversed about bachelor parties, rave tents, rape buses and how we keep getting older, but the Apple River stays the same age...

Fear and Loathing?

Sweet view.

Here comes the Huevos. So disappointing. One of the worst I've ever had!! The eggs were undercooked, the masa cakes were cold...the whole dish lacked substance. Sad face.

The biscuits and gravy were too salty in my opinion, but had great flavor. Mark insists they should add a couple poached eggs. I definitely agree, as long as they're cooked properly.

The bagel and lox... very standard.

Oh gawd, Heyday. I want to love you. You're perfect on paper. But in reality, you haven't gotten your brunch feet under you yet. I'll give you another chance in a couple months. In the meantime, I want to try your dinner or stop in for a trough of your DBSs.

Brunchaholics.

Lago Tacos **2.5/5 stars

So true. 

Yes, we're here to talk about tacos, not emotions. Screw emotions.

So a few months ago Heidi's disappeared in a puff of smoke (RIP) and out of the ashes rose Lago Tacos, a comfortable, slightly-better-than-chain taco joint. Joining the likes of the Herkimer and Lyndale Taphouse, I fear it won't be long before this place becomes a total douche magnet. But let's live in the moment, shall we?

Special friends

What I love most about Lago is their patio with the covered bar. It is a bit of an oasis in a land of concrete claustrophobia. It makes me nostalgic for ocean front cantinas and shitty mexican beer. Kind of.

Hey, mix me up another Cuervo Sunrise, bro

Lago was quiet this Sunday morning. Not sure if the brunch word hasn't gotten out yet, or if people have already shrugged it off. 

I was more than slightly disturbed when our server didn't know what a mimosa was, or if they had them (of course they do.) We also ordered a variety of dips with chips (everything looks more fancy when you put it into a ramekin, but really it's just refried beans, guac and some salsas.) Tasty, tho!

Marky, Laurel, Davey

The bloodies are pretty decent AND they come with a deep fried penis, I mean, pickle.

Hmmm...

The menu (apologies for the blurry photo), is what you would expect from a taco joint. Burritos, tostadas, chilaquiles, rancheros...

We waited around for a good while, enjoying our DFP's and variety of dips. Then they delivered fried danishes. Built-in Brunchitizer™! Score! 

So these are the Chorizo Tostadas. Mui, mui bonita! I would put this dish at the top of the menu. Note: Their meats are really good.

And the Pork with Green Chile. Really great flavor, but too soupy for me.

And this is the Rancheros... Kinda weird. If you love beans (and you know I do), then this is your man. But the dish seemed to be missing something...

And it wasn't the toothpick that was buried in David's flauta...

What the...

Stabby.

They were nice enough to comp that meal...but seriously? I'd say skip the brunch and come here for happy hour. The tacos are good and you get a lot for your $$. Hurry, before another uptown bar falls victim to the Embroidered Jeans Brigade.

Wash your hands.

Tiny Diner ***3/5 stars

One of the only covered open patios in town, the lofty blue solar panels make Tiny Diner look more like a futuristic, self-sustaining wicken space village than a classic joint. Cool. We were being chased by rain this fine Sunday, so it was nice to be able to still enjoy outdoor seating. However, if you prefer to sit inside, don't worry about claustrophobia. It's not that tiny. I've only given you a view of the back bar, which wraps around, but there's plenty of seating in front as well.

We were greeted by a nervous host who obviously had the new-girl jitters, but she managed to get us on the list and get us a cocktail menu. We opted for the pear bellini (beer and wine only.) It was only a few minutes before we were seated next to a couple of dudes at one of the community picnic tables. Our neighbors turned out to be bike friends and one tiny, adorable puppy named Artie. Score.

 

The menu is pretty extensive - featuring a rotating theme by city. Right now it's Philly, which means Scrapple is on the list. Scrapple is a mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal, flour and spices. The mush is formed into a semi-solid congealed loaf, sliced and then pan-fried before serving (thanks Wikipedia). Congealed meat scraps... hmmm. I'm gonna have to skip that one. Thank god there are lots of other options...

Our friends got the biscuits and gravy and the traditional farmer's breakfast. The biscuits were confirmed to be delicious. Pretty nice looking 2-egg platter as well...

While we waited for our food, we roamed the garden and made a peace offering in the blair witch hut. Random, but cool.

Me and J-love

Window for the full-moon sacrifice.

Finally, our food arrived. We got the breakfast sammy and the veggie omelette. Pretty regular stuff here. The chef went ninja on my veggies. They were cut up so tiny I couldn't even chew them. Kinda weird. But, the pancakes are extra good here. So good they rival the Lowbrow. Side note: The only downside to the space-age roofing is that your food has a blue tint to it... not super appetizing. iPhoto couldn't fully rectify the situation...

So Tiny Diner wins points for interesting design, for not actually being tiny and for serving pretty standard food and drink. It's also a good option in an area of town begging for more decent places to brunch. Thanks Kim B. for spreading the love. Until next time...