The Rookery *****5/5 stars

When you die, this is where you go. A giant shag carpet covered booth in the middle of a recently gutted, non-descript building in Robbinsdale. Don't believe me? Read on, my friends...

The Rookery is the more casual non-course menu side of the new Travail. (Okay, who am I kidding, nothing about this experience is "casual".) When the Travail peeps did dim sum brunch, I was like, fools be trippin'. This ain't brunch. Then they went and done did this. A real m-fing ten course deal. It makes me lose my good words...

The Travail side. What's with those flat screens, bro?

So thanks to Mr. Fox for setting up this gig for us and six of our favorites. Being that we were a party of eight, they seated us in the VIP Hot Tub. Yep, it's called the hot tub. That place where you go in and get out two hours later with a vague recollection of what just happened. And that's why we have iPhones. Check out these totes adorbs truffled deviled eggs with caviar that were waiting for us when we arrived.

True.

So, it's almost noon. Let's get some drinks. You've got a few options... pressed coffee, and/or a mimosa (grapefruit or orange) and/or a bloody. They also have a Brunch Punch (Campari and gin) or a screwdriver, of which we did not partake (obviously Nicki and Alyssa weren't with us). Standard. Decent.

He's coming to press it.

Of course they back it.

I'm getting all misty remembering this first dish. It's like the first time every time. Okay, the hot tub got to me. All I remember is that this is watermelon gazpacho and some other fantastic shit...

Without.

With.

Oh, hello, pastry cart of amazingness. These ditties cost extra, and they're also your only real sweet treat. This brunch is hella savory. One slap on the face for that.

Classic glazed.

Next course: a little pocket of gruyere and ham. That's a chocolate peanut butter bite in the back.

This is the quiche, my least favorite dish. It was super creamy in texture but lacked major flavor. Next!

Lox and rye and dill. So lovely. Now that you've made it through half of the meal, please enjoy this intermission music.

More mimosas. Dude's sweatin' it out for us. Mad respect.

And we're back! With mussels. What? Not for brunch, you say? I strongly disagree.

Enter the breakfast sausage. This is a cased egg concoction topped with chorizo that will blow your freakin' mind. Best. Ever.

Intimidating, I know. Just do it.

Oh god, we're almost there. This is a rib with a tiny little potato salad. Yes. So crispy and delicious.
By the way, the portions were perfect. Enough to have us fully satisfied at the end. Enough to have us walk out with some degree of comfort.

I just want to swear. 50-day, dry-aged rib eye. WTF.

Dessert. I'm so sick of sorbet, but this had mint snow on it. Snow is the new foam, by the way, which I'm super stoked on. No more saliva on my food, thank you.

Woof. Y'all still with me? Let's wrap this up. What you must know about Travail/Rookery is that the service here is outstanding. These people are passionate about their food and they have an assload of fun serving it, or at least it appears that way. The experience in its entirity is one of pure magic. Your sight, taste, smell and hearing are stimulated in the best way. And when you pet the shag carpet of the hot tub, everything comes together. Walk toward that bright light...

Bringin' the love.

Thanks to all my brunchaholix. Love yaz.

Lane, Jojo, Sherdog, Kel

Kate, Moi, Bernadette, Mr. Fox

The Red Stag ***3/5 stars

Okay, so this whole MN vs. WI thing needs to die. We are pretty much the same when you boil it down. Lakes, trees, beer, passive aggressiveness, Christian guilt... and don't forget that great work ethic! But there's one feature of Wisconsin that I will give extra credit... aside from that tasty, tasty New Glarus brew. Supper clubs. So yeah, MN has them, but they're just too damn modest. WI clubs have flair. They let their freaky, backwoods, old-fashioned-drinking, animal-slaying, antique-hoarding selves run wild. The Red Stag in NE MPLS is an homage to such places.

Ironically, the Stag is an upscale joint. The food and beverages aren't of your average supper club variety or price. And you'll probably not find a brunch like this in Kenosha. Well maybe, but it'll be way more greasy (I mean, don't get me wrong, greasy has its charm).

The menu plays the classics... scrambles, hashes, bennies, cakes, etc... They use local and organic ingredients, and Wisconsin Cheese, of course.

We got this complimentary coffee cake Brunchitizer™.

Look at this sexy Campari and grapefruit. And while we're on the subject of breakfast cocktails, I have some sad news. The bloodies here are terrible. Which is strange because Pat's Tap and Bryant Lake Bowl (the Stag's sister restaurants) have some great ones. Bring those recipes up here, y'all! This one is funky. I don't like to suck peppercorns and other chunky seasoning up my straw.

Above is a greyhound and the granola with yogurt and fruit... the granola was under there somewhere. Below is the veggie hash. Pretty.

Here's the florentine. Ung. Them hasbrowns is real crispy.

And the corned beef hash with two scrambled...

Also, they bring you a vat of fresh jam for your toast.

While not a truly authentic Wisco supper club experience, I have to say the Stag does a pretty nice job of re-creating the general feeling without the extra must, dust and social conservancy. It's a bit on the pricey side for my likes, but it's pretty worth it. HELLO WISCONSIN!

Kitschy.

The Stag beckons.

Heyday **2/5 stars

Haaayyyyy. It's Sunday morning. Your friends called and they're on their way back from the Apple River, looking to continue the debauchery. Where to go?

Heyday is new to town and quite new to the brunch scene. I'd been hearing good things.

At first glance, this place is freaking gorgeous. Open and spacious, recycled wood and great art... Falling in love.

First glance at the menu reveals a succinct breakfast entree selection and a brief but mui interesting beverage menu. Pannekoken, biscuits and gravy, quiche, rancheros, croque, traditional, breakfast sandwich, bagel and lox, yogurt. That's it. But what a nice variety for a limited menu. I guess I should not forget to mention the side of praline bacon, which we did not order, but I heard it is a dream.

So we picked the most boozy sounding drink on the menu, the "Don't Be Salty", which consists of tequila, orange, salt, strawberry and bubbly... Yow. So good. They should serve it in a punch bowl with straws.

Free Brunchetizer™!

We sat by the kitchen and watched the magic happen while we conversed about bachelor parties, rave tents, rape buses and how we keep getting older, but the Apple River stays the same age...

Fear and Loathing?

Sweet view.

Here comes the Huevos. So disappointing. One of the worst I've ever had!! The eggs were undercooked, the masa cakes were cold...the whole dish lacked substance. Sad face.

The biscuits and gravy were too salty in my opinion, but had great flavor. Mark insists they should add a couple poached eggs. I definitely agree, as long as they're cooked properly.

The bagel and lox... very standard.

Oh gawd, Heyday. I want to love you. You're perfect on paper. But in reality, you haven't gotten your brunch feet under you yet. I'll give you another chance in a couple months. In the meantime, I want to try your dinner or stop in for a trough of your DBSs.

Brunchaholics.