Haute Dish ****4/5 stars

 

Haute Dish. Hearty, large portions of meaty, down home cooking with a modern twist...plus a haughty cocktail menu. It took me a long time to drag myself into the old Cafe Havana, which I loved so dearly. RIP, Cuban Martini. I stayed away from HD for months, mostly because the new marquee is just awful from a design perspective. And I loathe the sliced pig logo as well. Yes, bad design will keep me away from some of the best voted food in town. At some point, though, I did break down and fell in love with the bloody mary oyster shooters and the tater tot hot dish. Then I found out they were doing brunch and I was prepared to be thrilled.

So we went on the first Saturday they were serving brunch (previously only Sundays) which also happened to be my 30th birthday for the 5th time. I was joined by a lovely crew who rocked it out with me the night before at the Moose karaoke. Shout out to Jerry Beth for providing stellar karaoke service. I was expecting a crowd, but to my surprise we were the first group to arrive.

 

The breakfast cocktail menu is pretty great. Four dif bloodies, one with tequila and one with bourbon. And a giant bellini with raspberry vodka, peach puree, grand marnier and cava. Yow! 

I started with the tradish house bloody with the Chef's Skewer...an extra $3, but it comes with a chicken wing...what? That was probably the best chicken wing I've ever had! But the bloody wasn't that great. I should have gone for the one with tequila.

Al had a Bloodhound, a greyhound with campari...

So, let's get to the food, shall we? We've got some majorly meaty suspects, one sweet dish and one veggie. We were able to try a lot, since we had a big group. First is my dish, the Ropa Vieja (Old Clothes?) A mexicany hashy egg thingy that I loved, cuz I love their beef brisket, but the avocado was smashed into this weird rectangle and was frozen with ice crystals. I don't believe that was intentional, but it kinda bummed me out.

Then let's talk about Al's dish, the Rueben Benedict. Dam, dam, dammmmm, this was good. And I don't normally go for corned beef. The portion was ginormous.

Here's the veggie hash dish, also very large and tasty...

Blood sausage? Chef Chris C. on Top Chef Masters made blood sausage with poached oysters and sunny side eggs, which he said would be his choice for his last meal before dying. I say, add some oysters to this one and we'll talk...but Mr. Fox loved it.

Oh sweet Jesus, well, semi-sweet Jesus. These were a pretty lovely balance of sweet, tart fresh strawberries, salty brie and fluffy cakes.

 

Before I sat down to write this review, it was pretty solid in my head that Haute Dish was a 3.5 star place. My avocado was frozen and the atmosphere was kinda dark and drab. The service was also a bit sketchy. Just didn't live quite live up to my lofty expectations. But, then I looked at all the food again and realized, nope, it's a 4 fo sho. I'll leave you with this lovely, large and hearty piece of art in the foyer. Please, go to Haute Dish and bring your hunger and a big group so you can try everything. Peace, y'all.

Wilde Roast *** 3.5/5 stars

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

 

As a tribute to the last weekend of summer, we drowned ourselves in food and drink for three days straight, which involved a late night trip to Applebees (never a good idea), biking to and drinking at 11 Northeast bars and picnicing at Lake Harriet which finally ended in a State Fair induced coma. The beginning to this fateful journey was spent, more than slightly hung over, Saturday morning down on St. Anthony Main. Wilde Roast, in it's new (old Sophia) digs, had gotten some good chatter, so we decided to check it out. 

First of all, I freakin' love this part of town. The falls, the view of Mill City and the rest of downtown and several great bars and restaurants to choose from. Here's the WR patio. Seating for up to six only. We had seven, until Nicki bailed to nurse her "headache." So, we sat inside...

Whoa daddy. This place makes me want to put on an evening gown and drunkenly sing Fever on top of a piano. I guess they didn't change much from Sophia and I love it.

Hair of the dog. Soooo tasty. Nice combo of sweet and spice, and the consistency was not too thick or too watery. This bloody mary saved my life.

Oh, here's a giant fresh-sqeezed mimosa. Bam. It's not a camera trick. They are huge. They don't put the fresh stuff in the screw driver, though... that's lame.

 Giant coffee. Careful with the refills.

 Hi. My name is EGGS BENEDICT PIZZA. Holy god. Amazing.

Sorry for the blurry photo, I was just so excited about the huevos rancheros with side of gouda hashbrowns. Yow!

This is the skillet with roasted potatoes, bacon, egg and hollandaise. 

I saved the worst for last. This is the quiche. This is why Wilde Roast did not get four stars. Looks like lasagna right? Well, it's crustless on purpose, but it was too over loaded with cheese and not loaded enough with veggie goodness. Skip it. The salad, however, was lovely.

Hey everybody: in general, Wilde Roast kicks some serious ass in the brunch department. Pretty good for an alien pop idol.

Harriet Brasserie **2.5/5 stars

So brasserie is French. It actually means brewery, but translates more appropriately to "you can wear jeans here but we're gonna charge you $8 for a piece of brioche." Harriet really isn't all that uptight. I mean, it is in Linden Hills, right next to Tilia, in fact. And it does have some fancy menu items, but the prices aren't outrageous for what you get and the atmosphere is comfortable. One large, crowded dining room and a tiny, coveted patio host a demographic of mostly parents, kids and more elderly patrons...bring your proper mouths. 

We were greeted by a cheery hostess, who encouraged us to get a drink at the bar while we wait for a table. Well, the bartender was anything but a ray of sunshine. She ignored us for a good ten minutes, fidgeting around doing busy work as if we were a nuisance to her, and then when we finally got her attention, she boldy stated "you have to close out right away!" Ok, fine. No problem. She took her sweet ass time pouring someone else's mimosas before reluctantly moving to mine. There she is, with her vacant death stare...

Luckily the drink was damn tasty and we settled up and bolted to the sidewalk bench to wait for a table. Not caught on camera: babies, strollers, grandmas in camoflage sweatpants...all that jazz. 

So we were finally seated after a half hour or so...man this place is tough to get into! Our server was a doll; attentive and genuine. We had fresh drinks and orders in right away. Another tasty mimosa and a good strong coffee for the man. 

Our food took a little while, but came out with a nice presentation. B got the tostadas. Very classic mexican style. A bit bland, but fresh and healthy. 

I got the crawfish grits cuz I thought it sounded interesting, and it kinda was. I mean, it did have an egg on top, a nice crawfish/tomato reduction and half an avacado, yum. But, the whole dish was rather bland in flavor. But it also wasn't greasy or over-salted like your average breakfast fare. 

Oh, I almost forgot the belgian waffle. This was in homage to the All City Championship bike race that I did the night before, where some sadistic event organizer thought a 35-mile manifest was "not that bad." Anyone who has biked 35 miles or more knows that afterwards you want to eat every carbolicious thing in sight. The waffle was pretty tasty, but I'm not such a huge fan of cherry compote. I'd rather have berries.

On the way out, we learned some history. Did you know the Harriet band shell burned down like two or three times and then was destroyed by a windstorm in the first ten years it existed? Then a "temporary shell" stood for more than 75 years before it was finally restored to its current condition. Don't say you never learned anything from bad eggs. My last piece of learning for you? If you really want to venture to the land of toddlers and cougars for brunch, I'd say Tilia and the Brasserie are about the same level of quality, although the Brass. dining room is much less loud and echoey, but you still have to deal with the hormonal bartender. And don't be surprised if you find yourself humming "...do do do...here's to you, Mrs. Robinson."

Birdhouse **2/5 stars

Birdhouse. Hmmm. Sounds cute. It keeps coming up on Yelp, and it's a child of Stewart Woodman (Heidi's)... could be promising. The famous row of two-story houses on Hennepin and 25th that have turned over several restaurants is now home to this vegan-friendly estab. 

 

 New neighborhood signs. Like.

 

 

Their press is on display. You can tell people want to love this place before they've even tried it... I wasn't sure what to expect, since Heidi's didn't blow my mind, but I'd say I was optimistic. We decided to sit outside cuz it was cloudy and not the normal "hot as hell" mid-day that we've been having.

 

 My handsome date.

 

So the logo graphic is pretty cool and the menu was easy to read. We ordered up drinks. Me: fresh squeezed OJ. Bran: bloody mary. The menu is pretty short, but it's got a variety of sweet and savory options. Gluten-free options abound. I'm not a snob when it comes to health food or expensive locally sourced food, for that matter..but it had better taste damn good.

I'm kicking myself for not having ordered one of their fresh juice spritzers which seemed to be a favorite amongst the other diners. This OJ was overly sour. But at least it wasn't laden with pesticide, right? The bloody was kind of a bomb...not "da bomb", just a bomb. As in, not great. It was really watered down, and came in a tiny glass for $9. At this point I'm thinking "Lyles is only a few blocks away... can we make a break for it?" Fake OJ and potatoes from a bag sounds really good right now...

Here's the quiche. Yep, it has no crust. Gluten-free. I should have expected. And such a dainty portion, but it had great flavor. And those are sunflower and dandelion greens. Yeah, it tasted like I was grazing in the back yard. They were so bitter and chewy in texture. Not a fan. Can I just get some spring mix over here?

The benny. Kinda sad. They made you pay extra for the spinach, without that, I don't know what you would have left...since there's no hollandaise or meat or veggies. But that would be too indulgent? I'm waiting for Jillian Michaels to jump out of the bushes and make us do two-minute drills in between bites. But, this hundred-calorie meal is barely providing enough energy to walk back to the car.

 

In general, this brunch was really disappointing. Over-priced, tiny portions and forgettable dishes. It has to be said: Birdhouse is definitely for the birds.

Flo, Noble Square, Chicago ****4/5 stars

I've been travlin' a lot lately, kids. And traveling means eating amazing brunch. Especially when we're in Stephacago's hood. Wicker Park, the Ukranian village and the surrounding neighborhoods are swarming with great brunch spots. Today we visited Flo which specializes in Mexican breakfast (my favorite). 

When we visit Steph, we also have to partake in late-night bar hopping activities that you can't do in Minneapolis. When your mom said nothing good ever happens after midnight, she was pretty much right. Nothing sensible, anyway. So rolling on about 6 solid hours of sleep for the entire weekend, we stumbled into this beautiful oasis. The patio is nice, but it was too blazing hot outside. Inside, we found cool air, high tin ceilings and a chalkboard telling of a mimosa flight special. Yow!

We got a great round table in back under a skylight. Beautiful ambiance. Great art, too.

Ever had a bloody with tequila? I swear, it's really good - smokey and sour and the madra of all hair-of-the-perro drinks I can think of...

Here's the champagne whores with their sparkling flights. The best deal in the house. Mimosa rosa with red wine, a bellini and an original mimosa. Don't get too excited...

The menu consists of a variety of eggy, beany, avocadoy stuff like this giant smothered burrito, which most of us ordered. Chili stewed beef, beans, scrambies and jack cheese smothered in ranchero sauce. Ay yay yay!

And here's the chilaquiles. Kind of looks like a pile of failed nachos, but it tasted even better than the burrito...

And to top it all off, literally, they had house-made sauces which were mui amazing.

Holding it together...

Muchas gracias Stephonics and hasta luego Chicago!