Harriet Brasserie **2.5/5 stars

So brasserie is French. It actually means brewery, but translates more appropriately to "you can wear jeans here but we're gonna charge you $8 for a piece of brioche." Harriet really isn't all that uptight. I mean, it is in Linden Hills, right next to Tilia, in fact. And it does have some fancy menu items, but the prices aren't outrageous for what you get and the atmosphere is comfortable. One large, crowded dining room and a tiny, coveted patio host a demographic of mostly parents, kids and more elderly patrons...bring your proper mouths. 

We were greeted by a cheery hostess, who encouraged us to get a drink at the bar while we wait for a table. Well, the bartender was anything but a ray of sunshine. She ignored us for a good ten minutes, fidgeting around doing busy work as if we were a nuisance to her, and then when we finally got her attention, she boldy stated "you have to close out right away!" Ok, fine. No problem. She took her sweet ass time pouring someone else's mimosas before reluctantly moving to mine. There she is, with her vacant death stare...

Luckily the drink was damn tasty and we settled up and bolted to the sidewalk bench to wait for a table. Not caught on camera: babies, strollers, grandmas in camoflage sweatpants...all that jazz. 

So we were finally seated after a half hour or so...man this place is tough to get into! Our server was a doll; attentive and genuine. We had fresh drinks and orders in right away. Another tasty mimosa and a good strong coffee for the man. 

Our food took a little while, but came out with a nice presentation. B got the tostadas. Very classic mexican style. A bit bland, but fresh and healthy. 

I got the crawfish grits cuz I thought it sounded interesting, and it kinda was. I mean, it did have an egg on top, a nice crawfish/tomato reduction and half an avacado, yum. But, the whole dish was rather bland in flavor. But it also wasn't greasy or over-salted like your average breakfast fare. 

Oh, I almost forgot the belgian waffle. This was in homage to the All City Championship bike race that I did the night before, where some sadistic event organizer thought a 35-mile manifest was "not that bad." Anyone who has biked 35 miles or more knows that afterwards you want to eat every carbolicious thing in sight. The waffle was pretty tasty, but I'm not such a huge fan of cherry compote. I'd rather have berries.

On the way out, we learned some history. Did you know the Harriet band shell burned down like two or three times and then was destroyed by a windstorm in the first ten years it existed? Then a "temporary shell" stood for more than 75 years before it was finally restored to its current condition. Don't say you never learned anything from bad eggs. My last piece of learning for you? If you really want to venture to the land of toddlers and cougars for brunch, I'd say Tilia and the Brasserie are about the same level of quality, although the Brass. dining room is much less loud and echoey, but you still have to deal with the hormonal bartender. And don't be surprised if you find yourself humming "...do do do...here's to you, Mrs. Robinson."

Birdhouse **2/5 stars

Birdhouse. Hmmm. Sounds cute. It keeps coming up on Yelp, and it's a child of Stewart Woodman (Heidi's)... could be promising. The famous row of two-story houses on Hennepin and 25th that have turned over several restaurants is now home to this vegan-friendly estab. 

 

 New neighborhood signs. Like.

 

 

Their press is on display. You can tell people want to love this place before they've even tried it... I wasn't sure what to expect, since Heidi's didn't blow my mind, but I'd say I was optimistic. We decided to sit outside cuz it was cloudy and not the normal "hot as hell" mid-day that we've been having.

 

 My handsome date.

 

So the logo graphic is pretty cool and the menu was easy to read. We ordered up drinks. Me: fresh squeezed OJ. Bran: bloody mary. The menu is pretty short, but it's got a variety of sweet and savory options. Gluten-free options abound. I'm not a snob when it comes to health food or expensive locally sourced food, for that matter..but it had better taste damn good.

I'm kicking myself for not having ordered one of their fresh juice spritzers which seemed to be a favorite amongst the other diners. This OJ was overly sour. But at least it wasn't laden with pesticide, right? The bloody was kind of a bomb...not "da bomb", just a bomb. As in, not great. It was really watered down, and came in a tiny glass for $9. At this point I'm thinking "Lyles is only a few blocks away... can we make a break for it?" Fake OJ and potatoes from a bag sounds really good right now...

Here's the quiche. Yep, it has no crust. Gluten-free. I should have expected. And such a dainty portion, but it had great flavor. And those are sunflower and dandelion greens. Yeah, it tasted like I was grazing in the back yard. They were so bitter and chewy in texture. Not a fan. Can I just get some spring mix over here?

The benny. Kinda sad. They made you pay extra for the spinach, without that, I don't know what you would have left...since there's no hollandaise or meat or veggies. But that would be too indulgent? I'm waiting for Jillian Michaels to jump out of the bushes and make us do two-minute drills in between bites. But, this hundred-calorie meal is barely providing enough energy to walk back to the car.

 

In general, this brunch was really disappointing. Over-priced, tiny portions and forgettable dishes. It has to be said: Birdhouse is definitely for the birds.

Flo, Noble Square, Chicago ****4/5 stars

I've been travlin' a lot lately, kids. And traveling means eating amazing brunch. Especially when we're in Stephacago's hood. Wicker Park, the Ukranian village and the surrounding neighborhoods are swarming with great brunch spots. Today we visited Flo which specializes in Mexican breakfast (my favorite). 

When we visit Steph, we also have to partake in late-night bar hopping activities that you can't do in Minneapolis. When your mom said nothing good ever happens after midnight, she was pretty much right. Nothing sensible, anyway. So rolling on about 6 solid hours of sleep for the entire weekend, we stumbled into this beautiful oasis. The patio is nice, but it was too blazing hot outside. Inside, we found cool air, high tin ceilings and a chalkboard telling of a mimosa flight special. Yow!

We got a great round table in back under a skylight. Beautiful ambiance. Great art, too.

Ever had a bloody with tequila? I swear, it's really good - smokey and sour and the madra of all hair-of-the-perro drinks I can think of...

Here's the champagne whores with their sparkling flights. The best deal in the house. Mimosa rosa with red wine, a bellini and an original mimosa. Don't get too excited...

The menu consists of a variety of eggy, beany, avocadoy stuff like this giant smothered burrito, which most of us ordered. Chili stewed beef, beans, scrambies and jack cheese smothered in ranchero sauce. Ay yay yay!

And here's the chilaquiles. Kind of looks like a pile of failed nachos, but it tasted even better than the burrito...

And to top it all off, literally, they had house-made sauces which were mui amazing.

Holding it together...

Muchas gracias Stephonics and hasta luego Chicago!

Lucky's 13 *** 3/5 stars

And...we're back! Apologies for the extended hiatus... I got sidetracked by a trip to Costa Rica where I had the best Huevos Rancheros of my life...look for the post coming soon. But, first I have to recap the stellar Sunday Mother's day brunch that I enjoyed with my dearest friend, Gramma B and her handsome pack of men. Don't let the nickname fool you, she's not wrinkled or gray or slow moving, but she does own a kitchen better than most people I know. And, sometimes gramma needs a break from cooking, so we met for brunch in her neck of the woods @ Lucky's 13 in Bloomington. Normally we burst into flames when venturing outside the 494/694 loop during the weekend, but this was a special morning. 

So, Lucky's looks like pretty much every typical suburban frontage road restaurant sports bar. But this ain't yo mamma's Applebees, if you know what I'm saying... I mean, it's way better than you'd expect if you are a jaded minneapolite like me.

Also, if you're like me, you don't really like small things that live, but I make exceptions for certain individuals who use crayons for nose jobs.

There's the disc golf champion of the family. And don't get me started on the small fry, whom I affectionately call "my grandson". But enough about our future generation, let's talk about the booze.

The bloodies are decent, but what makes them great is that they come with a tiny BLT sandwich and a tiny baby Coors. Okay, so I never said I didn't like tiny things that don't live. Baby Coors is my grandson, too.

So, the mimosas are poured over ice, which made me leery, but they actually tasted great.

Let's get to the food, cuz it's good. Like, where have you ever seen walleye benedict with corn cakes on the menu? Let me know; I'd like to compare....

And the breakfast burrito was lovely according to B...

And here's a burger with an egg on it. That qualifies as brunch...

Mmmmm... bacon. Mason tried dipping everything on the table into his syrup and then finally gave up and tried to drink it straight out the dish. Way to go, junkie.

And then complimentary chocolate covered strawberries for the ladies. I fooled them cuz I didn't have to sqeeze out a baby and I still got the goods. Sorry, gramma...

My grandson says you'd better get yo ass down to Lucky's, fool. There's free popcorn.

Legends Bar and Grill and Beach Oasis ***2.5/5 stars

Are you in the mood for a typical bar breakfast in a semi-sketchy part of town with college-age servers that look hung over as hell? Then Legends can be all that and more. The first thing you notice when you walk in the door is their serious happy hour menu filled with kami's and jag bombs, built to attract young, foolish people without real life direction. I'm having flashbacks...and I like it. I went here on word that their bloodies were beuno and the food was totally dece. And it's true...

So they have a patio...that's a bonus...especially on this gorgeous, sunny, Saturday morning. It's really a cement parking lot with plastic tables and chairs and a fake palm tree.

Not totally void of character...check out this piece of work. Really adds to the ambiance...

Ok - so here's the menu. Pretty much as basic as it gets with omelets, benny, pancakes and classic egg combos. Nothing different. But we didn't want different. We wanted classic. And we got it.

So here's the bloody, buddy. Crammed with meat and pickled stuff and a shrimp that wasn't as scary as you might think. I ate two and lived to tell about it. The mix is a little on the sweet side, though.

Classic eggs. I hate those deep fried American fries. I would have preferred hashbrowns, but they don't have them or any other breakfast potato option for that matter... major fail.

Here's the same only scrambled with ham and toast. Pretty nice presentation and nothing was as greasy as you'd expect.

Omelet.

One final note: they bring you a water as big as your head without asking. As if they know most of their clientele is going to be extremely dehydrated in the morning. This is a big deal. A lot of places now days won't bring you water unless you ask, and then they keep forgetting you asked for it. Thank you, Legends for being so greatly average and keeping the world hydrated!